A while ago on a vision fast in Colorado, Ann Debaldo, a student of the Diamond Approach and apprentice on that vision fast, told me that focusing on the kath would help my feet find their way in the dark. I have certainly found this to be true on night runs when I can’t see the path. But yesterday I tried it in broad daylight, and what a revelation! First, I could see so much more of my surroundings by looking straight ahead rather than at the path. My eyes and soul could take in the magnificent greenness of the forest and the purity and freshness of the snowy mountain peaks ahead. Also, by focusing on the kath, my mind was much more still, which meant I could absorb the impact of the surroundings more. This is what I long for when I run in the forest; to be impacted by the beauty of nature, and have that freshness enliven the dead, stale spaces of my soul that get trapped in endless dry thought patterns. It was so refreshing!

And finally, I find it very difficult to rest in the kath centre when I do my sitting meditation each morning. But resting in the kath while running was very easy! I felt a fullness there, like a thick liquid, resilient and substantial. It actually seemed motionless, though my body was in movement. It was a wonderful way to experience the kath. And my feet did indeed find their way, over stones and sticks, potholes and lumps, with speed and agility. I recommend that you try this the next time you go for a run. Just bring your awareness into your belly, below the belly button. And keep bringing it back there when the mind wanders away. I’d love to hear about your experience after you’ve tried it!

By the way, the other thing that I did was to keep my eyes focused straight ahead or looking around at the mountains, trees, and river, rather than on the path. Keeping the eyes focused straight ahead is one of the techniques of ChiRunning. Angela James told me that she had one of her best race times ever when she focused on this technique. If you are interested in learning more about ChiRunning, check out the ChiRunning and yoga retreat at Monkey Valley in July!

And finally, I want to mention an interesting idea I came across in the Winter 2009 issue of Circles on the Mountain, the publication of the Wilderness Guides Council. The Hawaiian Maoli people have an ideal of Mihikala—the act of giving and receiving forgiveness before it is needed. Imagine the freedom of being able to forgive someone, rather than get upset, even before they do the thing that would upset you! The longing for freedom from reactivity is very strong in me these days, so this idea has much appeal. I will try to practice it on the other drivers during the drive in to work this morning!

Students and teachers of the Diamond Approach have attended Dan’s retreat in the US, and one of our local DA students found it to be so valuable that she invited Dan to come here.  Dan co-wrote, with Ken Wilber and Jack Engler, the book Transformations in Consciousness, and he teaches an annual seminar on mahamudra meditation at the Esalen Institute. His book Pointing Out the Great Way describes his method for learning meditation. This will be the subject of the retreat.

I signed up last year, and as the date draws nearer I am very excited about this chance to receive world-class teaching right here in Vancouver. If you want to learn to be more intimate with your direct lived experience, with gentleness for yourself and others, daily meditation is a vital foundation practice. It is in the spirit of sincere good wishes for our mutual awakening that I invite you to consider participating in this retreat.

$475 includes camping accommodations, teaching fees, and delicious organic vegetarian meals

Location: Monkey Valley Retreat Centre

Begins with dinner on Friday and ends Sunday afternoon

Guides: Angela and Karen

• Learn to run free of injury!
• Learn to run effortlessly!
• Learn to be energy efficient!
• Learn how to create Chi Energy Flow!

Angela no longer has Achilles tendonitis since using the ChiRunning form, which combines the inner focus and flow of T’ai Chi with the power and energy of running to create a revolutionary running form and philosophy that takes the pounding, pain, and potential damage out of the sport of running. The ChiRunning program increases mental clarity and focus, enhances the joy of running, and turns running into a safe and effective life-long program for health, fitness, and well-being. Angela has run 18 marathons and completed Iron Man Canada in 2008. Now she’s on her way to Paris to run the marathon there on April 11, 2010!

Karen has developed a yoga practice that prevents pain in the knees and IT band. Combining yoga with running helped her cross the threshold from the 10K distance to the half-marathon! Yoga is a millenia-old discipline that provides the perfect complement to your running practice. It brings suppleness to the entire body, builds core strength, and safely releases the lactic acid that builds up in the muscles during a run. The relaxation that yoga brings allows your body to run for longer distances with ease.

This 3-day weekend getaway to the beautiful interior of British Columbia will teach you the fundamentals of the ChiRunning form as well as a post-run yoga practice that is more fun than the old stretches you learned in gym class!

Mornings will begin with a meditation in the crystal-clear mountain air, followed by running and yoga. Afternoons will be free for you to enjoy the meadows and forests of beautiful Monkey Valley. You might follow the creek down to Missezula Lake to go for a swim, or just find a private spot to go for a skinny dip in the creek! Enjoy miles of running along logging roads with no traffic and exhaust fumes.

We’ll have night-time fun by the camp fire, and when you retire to your tent, the burble of the creek and the hooting of the great horned owl will lull you to sleep. This weekend retreat will give you time and space to connect with your body and with nature, and you’ll return to the city feeling refreshed and enlivened.

Optional reading: ChiRunning: A Revolutionary Approach to Effortless, Injury-Free Running, by Danny Dreyer and Katherine Dreyer

To register, please fill in the online Registration Form. For payment information, see Fees. We’ll send you directions and a suggested gear list when you register.

Speaking of bears, I’d like to invite you to a yoga class I am teaching on Tuesday, January 19.

One of the poses I’ll be teaching is called the bear pose! This class is a gentle class intended for people with any level of experience with yoga. No special equipment or clothing is necessary, as the poses are chosen so that you can do them at the office during your workday.

I teach four short sets of poses that you can do at work while taking a five-minute break, bringing energy and suppleness into your body, focusing your mind, and easing tension from your eyes and neck.

If you’ve never done yoga before, this class is a great way to experience first-hand the joy that yoga breath and movement can bring. Participants who came to the class last year were amazed at the states of pleasure they experienced from these simple techniques. If you’re already a regular yoga practitioner, you may still learn something new as the class draws on poses from Qigong and Kundalini yoga, which may be new forms to you, as well as the more familiar Hatha yoga. You’ll feel great whether you are new to yoga or have been practicing for years! 

P.S. If you couldn’t make it to the class, but would like to experience the benefits of yoga in your workplace, check out the info at www.karenrempel.com. I would be happy to bring this workshop to you!

As I mentioned previously, I just returned from the Diamond Approach 10-day summer retreat in California, and I’d like to share some of the learnings from that, because they tie in with the summer part of the wheel. Summer is the time of childhood innocence. In fact, Bill Plotkin writes in Nature and the Human Soul that innocence is one of the gifts children give to the world. And it is the parents’ job to maintain the safety of the home-nest in the early years, to allow this innocence to flourish. Unfortunately, this often doesn’t happen. But we all are innocent at the core of our nature. Even George Bush, Hitler, and Charles Manson. Although innocence wasn’t directly the theme of the retreat, I found that when I was working with people, and being a very allowing, clear space of openness for witnessing their work, their innocence is something I kept seeing, over and over. And I also felt in touch with my own innocence. This is part of the radiant preciousness of who we are. I felt it was a gift from the universe to be able to experience this and know it directly, in myself and others.

So when I left the retreat, I was in quite an expansive, open state, after 10 days of working in a deep way with people during the exercises, meditating, and having many satisfying connections with friends that I only get to see once a year. I arrived at the Air Canada security line at San Francisco airport in this open, friendly state. Although the line was quite long, and only one belt was open, and they kept letting people in first class go around the side and to the front of the line, I was in my open state, had four hours before my flight, and didn’t want to get caught up in my usual reactive judgement about this situation. I spoke to the woman behind me, who was from Calgary, and we shared some airport security experiences. When I got close to the front of the line, a man asked if he could cut in. I asked if he was crew, and he was, so I said sure, and we had a nice conversation too. He was from Montreal, and we talked about different cities. It was very pleasant, and I was pleased to be enjoying this potentially frustrating situation.

I guess this is where the universe wanted to test how grounded and connected to being I really was, because suddenly my bag was halted, brought out, and the security guy asked who it belonged to. I said it was mine, and he said there was a liquid in the bag. I had thought my water bottle was empty, but it wasn’t, and that was why it had been flagged. I pulled it out and dumped the water in the bin, and put my bag back through. Then my laptop was halted, and the security guy asked who it belonged to. I admitted it was mine, and a jerk in the line who was late for his flight said “Have you got anything else in your luggage that doesn’t belong there?”

Huh! Snap! I was totally out of my open spacious peaceful place and into a defensive response that came to the fore automatically. I said “It’s not my fault security is so fucking anal.” Luckily for me, they weren’t actually that anal, because they let me go through and didn’t say anything about this statement. But the passenger continued to heckle me as I collected my belongings at the other end of the belt, and I lost it again and said “It’s not my fault you’re late for your flight.” And he said “It’s not my fault you’re a stupid *&%&!” I said “I didn’t call you names and I would appreciate if you don’t call me names.” He called me another name, and then took off down the hallway.

So that’s it, huh? That’s the limit of my capacity to stay open and nonreactive. Less than an hour from arriving at the airport. Altercation. Irritation. Feeling caught up in reactivity, which is very familiar, and feeling hopeless about being a slave to it. Why am I getting triggered so easily, all the time? Here I’ve just finished a 10-day retreat and I’m totally caught up in what some idiot stranger said to me. It was an attack, but I got caught in it. Where is the benefit of the practice? The openness and spaciousness? If you are familiar with the entity known as the superego, you will notice it at work, making the situation even worse by attacking me for not being more equanimous.

But I have learned something after these many years of various practices, so the next part of the story is how I worked with the stew of anger and reactivity I was caught up in. And, no coincidence, anger is also one of the qualities connected with the red of the south part of the wheel. It is a form of the red essential aspect which can be experienced as strength, and the heat, fire, and aliveness of it can help us to protect ourselves and others. It has often motivated me to take action in the world. But in its less purely flowing form it can be felt as irritation, frustration, rage, and so on. Which is one of the things I worked with over and over at the retreat. The movement, like here at the airport, from openness to frustration or rage.

As I walked down the corridor toward my gate, pulling my well-examined luggage behind me, I saw how I get caught in this uncomfortable place all the time. I felt the discomfort of it and the desire to move away from it. It feels so awful to be caught in this reactivity. And it happens to me all the time. This made me wonder what I’m doing to keep getting caught in this. Is this a familiar, comfortable pattern from childhood? (Well, yes.) Is that why it seems to happen over and over? Am I creating it? And I noticed how much I wanted to escape from the discomfort of it. I don’t want to feel this way. I want to control reality so I never have to feel this way. I wished I’d said something even more annihilating to completely shut the stranger up and stop him from making me feel this way. I spent a moment or two trying to think of what that might have been—what I could have said. I noticed again how the feeling was so uncomfortable that I wanted to move away from it. But it was inside me and I couldn’t. So I went to have a pee, and tried to remember to sense my belly center—the Kath meditation—a practice I had been doing for the past ten days (and nine years). As I was sitting on the toilet, sensing my belly, I suddenly flashed on my spiritual teacher, and how she probably doesn’t get caught up in this kind of reactivity.

The feeling was as if I’d done something wrong and the passenger who attacked me had told everyone about it, so I guess a kind of shame. I am normally very together, and follow all the procedures for passing through security correctly, but this time I was still in a somewhat expanded state from the retreat, floating along a bit, and didn’t realize there was still some water in my water bottle. Also I didn’t know I had to take the laptop out of its case. I had already taken it out of the suitcase, and put it in a separate bin, and I thought that was all I had to do.

So the shame I noticed mainly by the reaction to it—defending myself, as if I hadn’t done anything wrong. In my head telling him my IQ was higher than his, because he had called me stupid. But just seeing that my superego was involved didn’t really shift the experience of discomfort and an inner, red irritation that felt very difficult to be with. But as I was sitting on the toilet, I realized that the difficulty was that I was trying to maintain a self-image. My teacher wouldn’t care what her image was—what people thought of her (or so I imagined). But I was feeling so bothered because my self-image of being together and doing things right was challenged.

Seeing this started to bring me more of a sense of relief, inner space. I still noticed some superego activity as I went on to a bar & grill to have some dinner while waiting for the flight. Feeling sensitive and raw, seeing how many times I’d been reactive in the retreat and carried away by anger. But I noticed the table I was given by a window facing the sunshine was very nice, and the food was quite good, and I felt very fortunate to be in this amazingly quiet place in an international airport. Feeling some sense of the surroundings being safe and supportive helped me relax into my true nature, and the awareness of myself as an innocent and precious being. The reactivity dissolved completely and I enjoyed my meal.

Anger is a very potent doorway for learning for me. In this instance, seeing how it was working to maintain a self-image is what allowed the whole experience to shift from the almost unbearable heat and irritation to shame (which the anger was protecting me from feeling) to a sense of inner spaciousness and quiet enjoyment of my veggie burger.

P.S. The exploration I just described is an example of the practice of inquiry—the main practice of the Diamond Approach. Staying with our experience, being curious about it, and letting it unfold. The movement of the unfoldment, when we allow it to just happen, can go anywhere. In this instance, it went to spaciousness and a good burger.

plate

no plate

tea 

phone service

no chocolate

no tea

no phone service

Clearly, this has been an issue for much longer than 16 years. Tibetan Buddhism borrowed from the earlier nature-based tradition called Bon, appropriating symbolism and ritual practices from Tibetan peoples into this branch of Buddhism. Early Christianity appropriated pagan symbols and ritual into Christian practices. Throughout history, conquerors have incorporated spiritual and cultural elements from the people they conquer. It is a method that helps to overcome the conquered people, and it is also a form of theft. And, it is part of the mysterious process of combining different groups of people together into something new. This happens also through the intermarriage and mixing of blood of the two peoples.

Then there is the question of reincarnation! When I was learning yoga, I had the definite feeling that I was doing something very familiar, and I knew that I must have lived in India in a previous life and practiced yoga then. If so, as a Caucasion woman born in Canada, of German Mennonite parentage, is it cultural misappropriation to teach yoga to others? Or do I have a legitimate claim to this teaching, through my own past life knowledge?! This is a delightful idea to contemplate, in part because I know how ridiculous it will seem to some readers, for numerous reasons.

I have a similar feeling of homecoming when I sit in circle on the earth, and the sage bowl is passed around to purify each person in the circle. I feel I have landed. My heart opens to the earth and the people in the circle, but also to something even bigger. Perhaps it is to a stream of history, people, and events that have gone before. Perhaps it is to the beloved mystery that is the oneness of the universe that we live in. Something about this sacred practice of purifying with sage brings a feeling of lightness and connection into my soul.

When I studied ecopsychology at Naropa University, we had a short course on cultural misappropriation, to make us aware of this danger. We were encouraged to study our own family and culture’s ancient traditions. I know that for me, with German Mennonite heritage on both sides, I have been influenced by this flavour of the sacred. The strongest value I am aware of, the defining characteristic of the Mennonites, is the practice of non-violence. The refusal to fight in wars. And stories about how my ancestors have followed or failed to follow this practice were told to me as a child. It is one of the strongest values I hold today, yet the way that I really learned to practice it was through the practice of ahimsa or non-harming that I was exposed to when I attended a Buddhist Vipassana meditation retreat and when I studied to be a yoga teacher!

I personally cannot identify as a Christian, whether Mennonite or otherwise. Too much harm has been done in the name of Christianity. Too many wars have been fought, and people and cultures destroyed by the followers of this religion. The idea that a single book contains all that is true, which is used as a weapon of hatred and suppression against people who are different (women, people of colour, lesbians and gays), is crazy! So when enjoined to look at my own family and culture’s traditions, at first I come up against a block. But if I look a little further, the picture opens up. If I look at my extended family, which includes relatives by marriage, I find we are German Canadian, Chinese Canadian, African Canadian, Italian Canadian, Austrian Canadian, and First Nations. I have American relatives too. And these are just the connections that I know about. The deeper truth is of a global connection and interconnection.

And I believe this is also true of earth-based practices. Before the advent of the monotheistic religions of Judeo-Christianity and Islam, which are only a few thousand years old—much younger than the lifetime of humanity—people lived on the land and practiced sacred rites that fostered connection to each other and the land. Sitting in circle. Sitting on the earth. Fasting alone in the wilderness. Smudging with herbs (think of the use of incense in Catholic rituals if you doubt what I am saying about appropriating the practices of earlier sacred rituals). Building stone circles. All peoples in all lands have done these things. It is in our DNA as people on this planet to resonate with these ancient ways. These ways belong to all of us.

That is one part of the picture. Another part is that the sweat lodge ceremony that I will be writing about comes from the First Nations and Native American people of this continent. Some of the words are from the language of the Lakota people. Aho matakwe-asin! All my relations! It opens my heart to hear these words, and to say them.

The ways and values of the people who are still close to the land are ways we all must learn, if we are going to stop the destruction of the earth in time to make continued life on earth possible for the species that remain. May it be so.

This doesn’t mean everyone should go to a sweat lodge, or on a vision fast. But it does mean everyone needs to understand that we are interconnected, with each other and with the earth. We are interdependent. I just came across information about a workshop that helps modern, “scientifically-minded” people to understand this! Originally developed for the World Wildlife Fund, this workshop is unlike any other you may have experienced. In a few short hours, you will develop a deep appreciation of the complex links between diverse global issues such as population, wealth, consumption, pollution, climate change, natural resources, species extinction, and even war. More importantly, you will learn what we can do as individuals and as a society to build a truly sustainable future. The May 21 evening workshop is called Systems Thinking… About Our World. Check it out!

Warning, these responses are not for the faint of heart! Or men named Dick. But they have been approved by the YogaBC moderator!

But actually, this shows me how accustomed I have become to the prison environment. For while this new sound (of Windows starting) seemed intrusive, I didn’t even notice the enormous clanging sound of the heavy prison doors in the hallway outside the room slamming shut repeatedly throughout the class, which had seemed like a shock to my soul-body when I first started teaching there.

We made it one and a half times around the room in the five minutes, and the young men seemed to be in a calm, quiet space after the meditation. The guard left, and the rest of the class was tranquil and flowing. I explained that they could use the walking meditation when they are feeling upset. The focus on the feet, which usually are not upset (unless they happen to be sore or injured), helps the meditator to shift into a more positive state. At least, that’s the theory!

The next class was the young women. This time a female guard came to the class and participated in it too. This is a wonderful development, which, as teachers with Yoga Outreach, we are encouraged to promote. For the guards no doubt can benefit from the yoga as much as the students.

But this time, the presence of the guard presented a new challenge, which I had never encountered before. For she had done yoga before (from a video) and thought it was appropriate to offer corrections to the students during the poses, as well as to give orders to maintain discipline in the class! So during the silent walking meditation she gave orders to the students to be quiet when they were giggling. And it went downhill from there. I totally lost control of the class, and it was a complete disaster! A new learning for me.

A few days after the fact, I can feel some appreciation for the universe bringing me this opportunity to learn new skills as a teacher. I now know that if a guard joins the class, I need to take her aside and lay down the ground rules; she is there as a student only, and must leave the class control to me!

The final straw was when the students and guard were lying in savasana (corpse pose), the final resting pose that is the traditional way to end a yoga class. The guard took a call on her radio headset (which she had been wearing throughout the class and which occasionally emitted noises), and started speaking into it, from her mat. (Rather than leaving the room so as not to disrupt the students who were in a quiet, resting state after being very rambunctious throughout the class.) Then she said to the students, “OK, time to go get your meds.”

At this point my strength arose, and I took back control of the class. I have a strong sense of ritual and there are certain things that MUST be observed, such as ending the class in the traditional way. I said “I am not finished. I am ending the class, and need one more minute.” I gently brought the students out of sivasana, and we closed with the traditional Namaste salutation (which means “the divine light in me greets the divine light in you”). After saying Namaste to the students and thanking them for sharing their practice with me, I turned to the guard (who left the circle and did not participate for the closing) and said Namaste to her. After they all left I put away the equipment and drove home, furious with the guard for undermining my authority in the class, and with myself for not knowing how to handle it.

I must say, I felt much more compassion and understanding for my Diamond Approach teachers, whose classes I have interrupted and disrupted many times. Now the shoe is on the other foot! And walking meditation did not help me to regain my ground. It took a strong talking-to to my superego, who was having a field day with me for not handling the situation well, before I started to calm down.

The joys of being a wild woman and putting myself in situations where the unpredictable can happen! Of course, this is where learning and growth can occur. Even though it didn’t help me right in the moment, I still recommend walking meditation, for it will help us all develop a connection with something that is deeper than our emotional state. And in spite of all the disruption in the class, it was beautiful to see how one of the young women in the class really connected with the earth energy through her feet from doing this meditation.

So keep practicing!

If you are interested in more information about the benefits of teaching yoga and meditation to people in prison, check out this link to the UK organization The Phoenix Prison Trust. Once you’re at the site, click Why we do it.