Part of the revisioning process involves renaming this web site to BC Wilderness Visions. Currently I am running full content under www.monkeyvalleyretreat.com and www.bcwildernessvisions.com. But soon I will be switching to the new site exclusively, with a redirect from the old site. So please bookmark www.bcwildernessvisions.com and access the site through this new address.

One of the things I’d like to do now that I’m spending more time in Vancouver is to offer some workshops locally, probably in the North Shore mountains, to give people a chance to experience wilderness work closer to home. Stay tuned to this site for details, and please let me know if you have a particular area of ritual, self-generated ceremony, or other nature work that you’d like to explore in a workshop.

The purpose of this web site is to provide information and resources to help you decide whether a vision fast is right for you. Here are some links to great topics on this subject:

• What is a wilderness rite of passage? A short article written by one of my guide mentors and Diamond Approach teachers, John Davis.
• What kind of quest is right for me? A brief description of group and individual quests. I offer both types at BC Wilderness Visions.

I also blog about stuff that interests me, for my own amusement, hopefully to entertain you(!), and as an opportunity to share my learning with you as life unfolds. This also allows you to get a sense of who I am to decide if you will want to do a vision fast or other wilderness work with me. For the next while, I will be writing a lot about running as I prepare for the Vancouver 2010 marathon. I will also continue to write about the vision fast ceremony, sharing stories of some of the vision fasts I have gone on. Please feel free to comment on the stories or to contact me if you have questions about doing a vision fast.

July and August (week-long trips include 3-day fasts, with preparations and post-fast storytelling and incorporation)
$800 – $1,200 sliding scale

Guides: Karen and second guide TBD

To arrange a customized individual vision fast for other dates, contact Karen at 604.251.6337.

“…by the time you step out of your purpose circle into the broad daylight, something has happened, whether you know it or not.”
Steven Foster and Meredith Little

A teenager is about to be released from a minimum-security youth prison, and has a chance to make a new start. A stay-at-home mom contemplates returning to the work force now that all her children are in school, but is unsure about whether she is ready. A business executive in upper management feels dissatisfied despite prestige and financial success, and wonders whether some other work would be more fulfilling. What do these three people have in common? They are each at a time of potential transition, and wonder what direction to go in.

The vision fast is a cross-cultural ceremony that brings guidance and healing through solo time in wild nature. This journey is a very personal one, and its meaning will be unique to you. Traditionally, the vision fast is a rite of passage that marks an important transition in your life, such as the passage into adulthood. The vision fast can be used for contemplation and celebration of life at any time of change, including puberty, marriage, divorce, career change, meeting life goals and milestones (something we often don’t take the time to celebrate and acknowledge in a meaningful way), loss of a loved one, retirement, illness, and preparation for death.

Today, precious time alone in wild nature is rare, and you might wish to take this time for contemplation or to renew your connection to yourself, to the earth, and to the sacred dimension in your life. Or perhaps there is an area of your life that you want to spend some time healing, such as a distressing event or a relationship. Or maybe you are aware of an inner quality of yourself that you wish to cultivate and invite to participate more fully in your life. What longing in your heart is calling you to undertake this journey?

The week-long vision fast ceremony begins with two days of preparations and clarifying intentions. Then participants fast alone in the wilderness for three days and nights, following the ancient practice of going without food, human companionship, and built shelter. (To adapt this ceremony to modern questers in a mountain climate, fasters use a tarp and sleeping bag for shelter.) The final two days are spent beginning to tell your story, integrating your solo time, and preparing to reincorporate into your life at home. For customized individual fasts, the week-long format described here can be shortened to five days.

The basic structure of this wilderness retreat draws on elements of rites of passage and renewal that stretch back to the beginnings of human consciousness: removing ourselves from our familiar worlds and going into the wilderness; using ceremony to deepen awareness and open our hearts; having time together in close community; having time alone; fasting; and returning with greater clarity and specific tasks.

Required reading: The Trail to the Sacred Mountain—A Vision Fast Handbook for Adults

To register, please fill in the online Registration Form. For payment information, see Fees.

Once the guides and participants meet in the place near where the fast will take place, a key part of the preparation in the days preceding the fast is to clarify the participants’ intentions. If there is a group of fasters, they sit in circle together and listen as one by one they tell their stories of why they have come to the desert or mountain to undertake this rite of passage. When there is a solo participant, the guide or guides have the luxury of more time to spend with the faster, helping to clarify what the faster has come to claim.

To help you understand this process, I have been telling the story of a recent trip I took to the California desert. I was apprenticing on the vision fast, and while the fasters were out, the guides and I mirrored each others’ intentions for a solo day walk. I have been delving deeply into the story, so that you can understand the way that this type of work can help a person learn and grow.

Here is a list of the entries I have written about the mirroring process. You might find this helpful to read before turning to the story of the actual medicine walk.

• Back from the desert
• A lifetime of anger – breaking the cycle
• Understanding the cycle of anger
• Clarifying intention – caring for the hurt self
• Taking the time to care for the hurt self

So instead I’ll direct you to some other links that have photos. (Photos are now loading; I guess this was the post I was supposed to write today!)

Pictures of Monkey Valley

This is from my excellent realtor, Darch Oborne, on his web site:

http://www.movingrealestate.ca/listing-details.asp?id=1075

And this is the MLS listing:

http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fMode%3d5%26id%3d83409&Mode=5&PropertyID=8603883

The main picture is one I took from across the valley, using the zoom feature on the great digital camera that Darch lent me! A magnificent view of the house.

Offering nature-based teachings in new places

The original intention of this web site was to promote the retreats that I offer here on the land. There are two kinds: the vision fast, and the teaching of the four directions. When I made the decision to sell Monkey Valley, I realized that the offering of these retreats, which is a gift I want to give to my people, has become intertwined with the land here at Monkey Valley. Of course, it is a great place to do these things! But it is not the only place where I can offer these gifts.

On Saturday I am leaving for Big Pine, California, to apprentice once again with the School of Lost Borders. This time, I am apprenticing on the California Fall Vision Fast, guided by Ruth Wharton and Larry Hobbs. This is the third year I am apprenticing with experienced guides to build on the training I have received with the school. I have also guided fasts twice at Monkey Valley.

Next year I am guiding a vision fast retreat group fast in the vicinity of Monkey Valley, and have added a new customized vision fast option to my offerings. There are some magical places on the land surrounding Monkey Valley, near Missezula Lake, and this is where I intend to hold these fasts once Monkey Valley passes on to her new owners.

The other type of retreat that I have developed and taught is the teaching of the four directions. It is based on the four shields teaching that Stephen Foster and Meredith Little shaped at the School of Lost Borders. I also incorporate teachings of the medicine wheel, which I received from my teacher Joyce Lyke and others, and ecopsychology practices that I learned while pursuing my master’s degree at Naropa University. These are all wonderful ways of connecting with nature to access the guidance and healing that lie within ourselves and the natural world. My intention is to adapt the two- or three-day retreat format to a day trip format that I can offer in Vancouver. This will have the advantage of making the teaching much more accessible to more people. And Vancouver is nestled in the bosom of many beautiful places in nature that will support this teaching.

The choice to sell Monkey Valley

It was a difficult decision to sell Monkey Valley, but that seems to be where the flow of my life is taking me. I have been here for nine years now. I bought this land within a few weeks of my father’s death. It has held much healing, learning, and growth for me. And a fair share of frustrations, too, which I think is part of the territory with any major undertaking. I have enjoyed most of the learning, and many fine times with family, friends, and co-journeyers on the path of inner realization, both with the Diamond Approach and with the nature-based spiritual practices.

At this stage in my life journey I find myself wanting to put down deeper roots in one place. Keeping two homes for all these years—Monkey Valley and an apartment I rented in Vancouver for a pied-à-terre—has required a lot of energy. I realize that I don’t want to spend my energy that way, and on the travelling back and forth. Yet if I have to choose only one place to be, I am sad to say that I can’t choose Monkey Valley. I feel too isolated there when I live there full-time. It has taken me a while to realize (and admit) that I am a social creature, and I like to be around people! So if I am going to choose a place to put down roots, I need to choose a place where there are people. I have noticed over the years how returning from Monkey Valley to Vancouver always feels like a home-coming. My appreciation for and love of this city have grown. (Though like most of us, I could do with less traffic!) This morning I spent some time reading the Georgia Straight’s annual “Best of Vancouver” issue, and love for this city swelled in my heart.

So these are some of the factors in my decision to sell Monkey Valley and move back to Vancouver full-time. I want to put down roots and weave into the fabric of community here. I want to spend more of my time offering my gifts to my people, and enjoying the company of friends and family, and less time driving on the Coquihalla and cursing because I don’t have the right tool for a job at Monkey Valley!

But, in case you are wondering, I am very happy with how the installation of my power booster turned out! May the new owners be very happy with their most excellent cell phone service!

Okay, you’re probably thinking I’ve totally flipped out, if you didn’t already think this after some of my previous entries about mouse turds, including “The mystery of the dead animal in my living room,” and the moving song “Blue turd on my window sill.”

But the fact is, being close to nature means being close to the full cycle of natural processes, which mostly involve birth, eating, eliminating, reproduction, and death. And when you spend time in nature, the signs of the elimination process are all around. Yesterday, when I was out for a run at Monkey Valley, I came across some magnificent signs of bear elimination. Call me crazy if you want, but I love finding bear scat. I found two piles, and one was a lot larger than the other, which might indicate that two bears of different sizes have been in the vicinity. Or maybe it was the same bear, having a big poop and then a little poop after. I noticed that both piles had undigested rose hips in them, which indicates the furry creature has been attracted to the bright red seed pods, which seem remarkably red and vibrant this year.

But what does this have to do with you, and specifically, with you pooping in the woods? One of the questions people who have never been on a vision fast ask is how to handle this basic biological function. Obviously, when you’re out in the wild on your solo, there won’t be a flush toilet, and not even an outhouse. This means you have the wonderful opportunity to experience what your ancestors did. Poop in the woods! Or in the desert, as the case may be…

We like to practice no-trace camping as part of our honouring of the land during the vision fast. This means packing out your TP, and covering the signs of any biological waste you might be leaving behind. So dig a shallow hole, and when you’re finished your elimination process, cover the hole with leaves and dirt. If there are rocks in the area where you are fasting, you can put a rock over the little pile to mark it, so that you know not to dig in that same spot again.

There is an ancient familiarity about squatting outside to perform this everyday function. The position is actually more comfortable for our body than a toilet, though if you’re out of shape it can be a strain on the quadriceps at first. Women out on a fast will get a lot more practice with this than men, learning to squat and pee too, without peeing on clothing or shoes. That’s a practice you will have a chance to master during your fasting time, especially if you drink the recommended amount of water!

A final note about biological processes for women out on a fast. It often happens that women’s cycles shift when out in nature, and your moon time might come while you are on your fast. We recommend bringing the supplies you’ll need in case this does happen. Pack the used supplies out with you, along with your TP. If you’re in bear country, you might want to keep your used supplies in a plastic bag some distance from your sleeping place, and use water and a bandanna or disposable wipes to keep clean. Or moss, if you’re in the woods.

Having your moon time while on a fast can deepen your connection with the sacred in nature, and help you feel part of the natural cycles of nature. Perhaps you will be inspired to create a ceremony to honour your moon time, bleeding directly onto the earth or making an offering of your blood in a ceremonial way.

Being out on the land during the vision fast, attending to our natural biological processes in ways that are more like the way our ancestors did, connects us to the 120,000+ life times of the human race, and helps us know that we are not alone. While our single life is finite, we are connected to a powerful, enduring life force through our human and pre-human gene pool. This is something that pooping in the woods can teach us.

I smudged myself with sage before going downtown to do the interview, and asked the spirits of the seven directions to be with me and help draw those people to the vision fast on July 5 – 11 at Monkey Valley who would most benefit from the ceremony. May it be so!

Why would anyone want to do a think like go without food for three days, alone in the woods, with only a tarp and sleeping bag for shelter? I think it takes a certain kind of person to be interested in this type of adventure, and a certain yearning in the soul. I believe that all humans yearn for connection with nature, because we evolved as a species for tens of thousands of years in the natural world. But nowadays, living in cities, many people do not hear their heart’s call to be out in nature. Or they may misinterpret the call as a yearning for something else, or drown it out with one of the substances so readily available to us for such purposes! So I think the vision fast ceremony appeals specifically to people who already feel their connection to nature, or who are aware of wanting to build or strengthen this connection. After all, there are many paths for gaining spiritual and psychological understanding that do not involve this level of physical discomfort!

Then there is the yearning to know yourself more deeply, to find guidance or healing, or to mark a life passage in a significant way. Perhaps you might feel the urge to test yourself, and gain a sense of confidence or strength from knowing you have passed the test. Certainly this is one of the functions the vision fast has served historically, as a right of passage from adolescence to adulthood. Since many of us never experienced or marked this passage into adulthood as a teenager, for some adults this might feel like an incompleteness that the vision fast ceremony can remedy.

When it comes to finding guidance, healing, inspiration, and self-knowledge in nature, the process is very mysterious. Time alone on the land opens us up. It makes our ego shell more permeable, usually in a safe and gentle way. It deepens our senses and our awareness, opening us to knowing and interacting with the natural world in a different way than we might experience on a weekend hike with friends. Being alone and not having to interact with others is actually a great gift, which allows a portion of our regular unconscious functioning (to maintain a self image, monitor how the other person is feeling, make sure the relationship is okay) to work for a different purpose. All of these factors, and the physiological changes brought about by fasting, can lead us into altered states of consciousness, where information is available to us in a new way.

This type of opening into the unknown is not for everyone. It takes a courage and a curiosity. A willingness to look foolish (or at least, dirty!). It takes a wanting. This is why on the School of Lost Borders vision fast program page they have a statement to warn away those who might be entering into this too lightly: “Or just forget that such a wild idea ever came into your head.” I love that! Enter at your own risk…

This week I had the great pleasure of giving a presentation on the vision fast to the Vancouver chapter of the Society for Technical Communication. Our March STC program was a Pecha Kucha event, in which speakers each discuss 20 slides for 20 seconds, making the presentations a short and informative 6 minutes and 40 seconds.

People are curious about the vision fast or vision quest, and intrigued by the idea of it. One of the things that deters people from trying it is fear of being alone in the wilderness, and particularly fear of wild animals. This is something I too had to face, and have since come to terms with, both as a participant and as a guide. I have had encounters with bears in the wilderness, and even saw a cougar in the distance once. As I have discussed elsewhere in this blog, I have come to realize that it is a rare privilege to encounter a magnificent wild animal like a cougar or a bear.

But, more importantly for the faster who has concerns about such encounters, these animals are very aware of humans and will avoid them if at all possible. The danger of attack from a wild animal is miniscule. My co-guide, Kim Ashley, and I thoroughly prepare fasters at Monkey Valley so that they know how to behave if an encounter happens. With some common sense and a little bit of advice it is easy to make sure an encounter with a wild animal is a blessing and not a danger. As guides, it is very important for us to make sure that each faster returns safely to her or his people. We are confident in our ability to teach you what you need to know to do that.

Another question people have about the vision fast is about the “no shelter” prohibition. The modern-day fast is adapted for city folks in a northern climate, and, again, making sure the faster returns safely is of primary importance. So the vision fast as taught by the School of Lost Borders and at Monkey Valley provides for temporary shelter in the form of a tarp, or even a tent if the faster feels this would be necessary. We teach tarp craft before the fasters go out, so that you learn how to put up a tarp that will keep out all the elements. Believe me, I have huddled under a tarp in the most frightening of storms and managed to stay warm and dry!

We also use a buddy system, in which each person leaves a sign at a buddy pile once a day, so that we know everyone is safe. If something should happen, help will be on the way in less than 24 hours. Much of the time in the first two days of preparation before the fast is spent in teaching fasters what they need to know to stay safe on their fasts, and during this time we teach the buddy system as well. We also provide materials to help you prepare when you register to do a fast at Monkey Valley. If you would like to read more about the vision fast and surviving alone for three days and three nights in the wilderness, I recommend The Trail to the Sacred Mountain—A Vision Fast Handbook for Adults. This is required reading before doing a fast at Monkey Valley.

I hope these photos of groups of people who have survived their fasts will inspire you to try it yourself! The Programs page has more information about the upcoming fasts at Monkey Valley. Check it out.

In the summer of 2008, the grandmothers and grandfathers of this land greeted a vision faster, perhaps for the first time in many years. It is known that the Upper Similkameen First Nation travelled through the valley seasonally, gathering plants. Did the elders of the community put youths out on the land to fast while they sojourned here? I have seen a hilltop that might have been a spot for sacred ceremony…

Kim and I were very pleased that our plans to host a vision fast came to fruition August 1-4, 2008, with a two-day fast. The retreat began with a day of preparing the faster for the solo time. While the guides remained in basecamp, the faster went out into wild nature and spent her solo time with the land and her creatures. The final day was a celebration and time for the faster to tell her story and have it received by her people. Many thanks to the spirits of the seven directions for keeping the faster safe and returning her to us.

In the summer of 2005, the retreat centre hosted a four-day medicine wheel gathering, taught by Joyce Lyke and Tracy Leach. We built a medicine wheel together, and learned how to walk the four spokes of the wheel and work with the spirits of the seven directions (South, West, North, East, Earth Mother, Sky Father, and Centre). Since this gathering, the wheel has been open, available to those seeking guidance from the spirits of the land and the spirits of our ancestors.

The retreat centre has hosted numerous meditation and inquiry gatherings for students of the Diamond Approach, a spiritual path for inner realization. Inquiry is a method for sensing into one’s direct experience in the moment, as deeply as possible. Sensing physical sensations, as well as emotions and thoughts, can lead us to deeper, more subtle experiences of our soul.

Practicing inquiry outdoors in wild nature can open us to different kinds of experiences than occur indoors. We have explored inquiring with each other and with nature beings such as trees and rocks. Several New Years inquiry celebrations at Monkey Valley have involved dancing, sacred ceremony, and inquiry in the snow!